When I first started blogging back in 2017 my original intent was really to share my story, my pain of a broken marriage and lessons that I learned as a result. Little did I know of how much I had yet to learn, how much about myself I had to discover and how much pain I still had to overcome. During that time I just knew that I wanted to utilize my blogging platform to be some source of strength to women that were going through the same pain that I was navigating. Not realizing that during that time even though I was sharing some parts of my story I was still so ashamed and wearing a mask trying my very best to be strong even though I really had no idea what being strong really meant and I definitely was not ready to take my mask off. My mask was the safest place where I can hide my pain. It allowed me to smile the biggest smile and laugh the loudest laugh and pretend everything was okay. Only a select few really knew the deep pain that I was experiencing.
3 years later I can truly say that I am in a much better place. In the last 3 years I have gotten to know myself again. I spent the time learning about me, re-discovering the things that I enjoy doing, reading books, setting goals, exploring my passions, making new friends, letting go of old friends and old ways of thinking and embracing new ideals. I absolutely fell in love with me. All the while my self confidence was increasing, it became so much easier for me to begin letting go of my past and forgiving myself for past mistake, finally accepting that it was okay. It was okay to be broken, I did not have to be perfect, there were lessons in my pain, lessons that I had to really learn from. Once I started paying attention to those lessons and truly face my pain head on, it made me so much more understanding of the pain of others, less judgmental, more mindful of myself and others and seeking constant opportunities to feed my soul. Now I find myself willing to share my story, no longer ashamed of it. It was so freeing to finally rid myself of my mask in more ways than one. I am definitely not “there” yet but I am proud to say that I am well on my way!